You're Invited
to the 1st BIRTHDAY of THE ĀBOLS 🍎
...aaaand his FUNERAL ⚰️ (same evening, stay hydrated)
One year ago an apple entered the fridge. It never left. It watched everything. Now it turns ONE YEAR OLD — and right after the cake, it goes into the bin. Forever. This is his party. Be there.
KAD: 26.09. plkst. 17:00
KUR: you already know where I live
BRING: apple foods, apple drinks, apple things
T-MINUS: calculating…
KUR: you already know where I live
BRING: apple foods, apple drinks, apple things
T-MINUS: calculating…
DRESS CODE: this is not a costume party — come as you are. Closet is all black? Perfect. It is also a funeral. But any apple-related logic leap in your outfit will make me very, very happy 🍎
※ No, we will NOT eat the year-old apple. I care about your health. He will be buried with dignity (trash bag, small speech).
p.s. it has also been exactly 1 year since I moved into this apartment. together with the apple, ofc.
☆*:.｡. NĀC! .｡.:*☆
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CENSORED 4 UR SAFETY
I Kept An Apple In My Fridge For 1 YEAR *not clickbait* (EMOTIONAL)
== OFFICIAL PROGRAMME ==
🍏 blind apple product tasting
🥧 apple snack contest (bring ur best)
🍹 apple drink mixology corner
📸 photo wall — if you are brave enough
to stand next to him who is dead
for a long time already
🎤 eulogy open mic — say a few words
⚰️ ??:?? — THE BURIAL
(time unknown, even to me.
it will happen when it feels right)
🔒 + SECRET ACTIVITIES
(classified until the night)
attendance of burial is mandatory.
crying is allowed. encouraged, even.
SUBJECT: ĀBOLS
SPECIES: apple (probably)
AGE: ??? days in fridge
TIMES ALMOST EATEN: 7
TIMES ALMOST THROWN OUT: 23
CURRENT FIRMNESS: unknown (too scared to check)
SMELL: none. which is worse.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PROVIDED: immeasurable
LEGAL STATUS: roommate
CAUSE OF (upcoming) DEATH: scheduled
"he never asked for any of this"
THE ĀBOLS' BDAY + BĒRES
RSVP: contact the host
IN LOVING MEMORY
Ā B O L S
2025 — 2026
"He sat in the fridge.
He judged our snacks.
He never rotted. We think."